Silence

Why do I worry and agonize endlessly over the small things -
And forget how big God is?

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

What do you think of when you hear the word "silence"? I used to think of my bus driver who would scream "SHUT UP!" about 5 times every morning, from kindergarten to 11th grade, or the dreaded time-out, which later became "quiet room" and ultimately - detention. But lately, I've seen silence a bit differently. It's waking up at 7 am before anyone else is stirring to sit on the front porch with coffee or laying outside on the hammock - watching the sky for a shooting star. And it's in those places that I've heard God speak. Not to mention the healing that has come from this sacred silence over the past months - because man, did I need it. One of my favorite stories of all time is 1 Kings 19. Elijah is fleeing from an angry King Jezebel to Mount Sinai, and here's what God does at the top.

Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by." A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper. When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, "So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?"

We often cry out to God, "hey! Do something big!" but He is waiting for us in the stillness, in the silence. God is quite contradictory. As I'm preparing to go, I feel like He is trying to tell me, "Be still and know that I am God." But the amazing thing is, worrying about the small things - like the MAT I want to take on Friday for grad school, which malaria pills to get, or my vaccinations that cost a lot more than I thought they would so now I may not be able to get fully reimbursed - does not help. What does help is finding a quiet place and saying "God, help me with this, I need you to carry this for me, it's giving me a headache and hindering me from getting anything done." Man, it looks so simple in hindsight.

I leave you with an excerpt from Come Away My Beloved, Frances Roberts:

I have waited for you to wear yourself out. I knew you would find it eventually - the secret of silence and rest, of solitude and of song. I will rebuild your strength - not to work again in foolish frenzy, but just for the sake of making you strong and well.

I'm going, I've got a plane ticket!

I suppose you could say that now it's official. Last week, our plane tickets to Cote d'Ivoire were bought! October 28th is the date, and it's a one way. I'm finally starting to feel like it's really happening.. though I'm sure I won't fully realize it until next month sometime. In the meantime, I'm filling my days with French learning, reading, painting, getting rid of things, buying new things, filling out visa paperwork, getting immunizations, and oh yeah - making muffins. I just made a batch of blueberry, my new favorite.

How am I feeling about all of this? Humbled, thankful, and a bit of restless excitement. I am incredibly blessed to have 100% of the money that I need for this coming year in Africa. Seriously, PRAISE GOD that I been surrounded by people in my life who support me, as well as people who don't know me but who God has laid it on their heart to give. In case you don't know, at the end of July, a grant organization in my community anonymously gave me HALF of what I needed to raise. It was an incredible affirmation that I'm really supposed to do this.. because I can assure you, that would not have happened if this going to Africa thing wasn't meant to be. As for the restless excitement, what can I say, I have itchy feet!

By the way, you should check out CJ's blog. She has a plane ticket as well, and is working on raising the rest of her money in the next month! Keep her in your prayers as well as the other 7 (plus our leadership team) who are gearing up to go!

Now for an update on my second last week in Philadelphia (yeah, I found a reason to go back again)





I spent last week in Philadelphia, to help prepare for and set up an exhibition of the kids' artwork from camp. As you can see from the pictures, we made muffins! It was quite a project, but it was awesome for the kids, to be as much a part of the exhibition as they could be. A lot more kids helped, but often they'd run in and out of the house.. as is typical for 3234 Potter St., no matter who is living there. Two days later, we decorated them with icing and sprinkles of various colors and flavors, which was SO much fun. I think they loved that part even more. A handful of them got to come to the exhibition as well, which had an incredible turnout! We also went up front with them and sang a few songs from camp, including "whose side are you leaning on?", "Undignified", and "Baby shark". Can't say I didn't feel pretty ridiculous dancing around and shouting in front of a bunch of grownups and trying to get them to join in - instead of the normal group of kids on camp mornings. All in all, it was encouraging to see the kids taking part in the art opening, and to see them lead songs while I just stood on the sidelines. Yeah, it was a perfect finale to my time in Philadelphia, but mostly, I think it was great for the kids to be part of something where other people came to see them and their work.