Silence

Why do I worry and agonize endlessly over the small things -
And forget how big God is?

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

What do you think of when you hear the word "silence"? I used to think of my bus driver who would scream "SHUT UP!" about 5 times every morning, from kindergarten to 11th grade, or the dreaded time-out, which later became "quiet room" and ultimately - detention. But lately, I've seen silence a bit differently. It's waking up at 7 am before anyone else is stirring to sit on the front porch with coffee or laying outside on the hammock - watching the sky for a shooting star. And it's in those places that I've heard God speak. Not to mention the healing that has come from this sacred silence over the past months - because man, did I need it. One of my favorite stories of all time is 1 Kings 19. Elijah is fleeing from an angry King Jezebel to Mount Sinai, and here's what God does at the top.

Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by." A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper. When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, "So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?"

We often cry out to God, "hey! Do something big!" but He is waiting for us in the stillness, in the silence. God is quite contradictory. As I'm preparing to go, I feel like He is trying to tell me, "Be still and know that I am God." But the amazing thing is, worrying about the small things - like the MAT I want to take on Friday for grad school, which malaria pills to get, or my vaccinations that cost a lot more than I thought they would so now I may not be able to get fully reimbursed - does not help. What does help is finding a quiet place and saying "God, help me with this, I need you to carry this for me, it's giving me a headache and hindering me from getting anything done." Man, it looks so simple in hindsight.

I leave you with an excerpt from Come Away My Beloved, Frances Roberts:

I have waited for you to wear yourself out. I knew you would find it eventually - the secret of silence and rest, of solitude and of song. I will rebuild your strength - not to work again in foolish frenzy, but just for the sake of making you strong and well.

I'm going, I've got a plane ticket!

I suppose you could say that now it's official. Last week, our plane tickets to Cote d'Ivoire were bought! October 28th is the date, and it's a one way. I'm finally starting to feel like it's really happening.. though I'm sure I won't fully realize it until next month sometime. In the meantime, I'm filling my days with French learning, reading, painting, getting rid of things, buying new things, filling out visa paperwork, getting immunizations, and oh yeah - making muffins. I just made a batch of blueberry, my new favorite.

How am I feeling about all of this? Humbled, thankful, and a bit of restless excitement. I am incredibly blessed to have 100% of the money that I need for this coming year in Africa. Seriously, PRAISE GOD that I been surrounded by people in my life who support me, as well as people who don't know me but who God has laid it on their heart to give. In case you don't know, at the end of July, a grant organization in my community anonymously gave me HALF of what I needed to raise. It was an incredible affirmation that I'm really supposed to do this.. because I can assure you, that would not have happened if this going to Africa thing wasn't meant to be. As for the restless excitement, what can I say, I have itchy feet!

By the way, you should check out CJ's blog. She has a plane ticket as well, and is working on raising the rest of her money in the next month! Keep her in your prayers as well as the other 7 (plus our leadership team) who are gearing up to go!

Now for an update on my second last week in Philadelphia (yeah, I found a reason to go back again)





I spent last week in Philadelphia, to help prepare for and set up an exhibition of the kids' artwork from camp. As you can see from the pictures, we made muffins! It was quite a project, but it was awesome for the kids, to be as much a part of the exhibition as they could be. A lot more kids helped, but often they'd run in and out of the house.. as is typical for 3234 Potter St., no matter who is living there. Two days later, we decorated them with icing and sprinkles of various colors and flavors, which was SO much fun. I think they loved that part even more. A handful of them got to come to the exhibition as well, which had an incredible turnout! We also went up front with them and sang a few songs from camp, including "whose side are you leaning on?", "Undignified", and "Baby shark". Can't say I didn't feel pretty ridiculous dancing around and shouting in front of a bunch of grownups and trying to get them to join in - instead of the normal group of kids on camp mornings. All in all, it was encouraging to see the kids taking part in the art opening, and to see them lead songs while I just stood on the sidelines. Yeah, it was a perfect finale to my time in Philadelphia, but mostly, I think it was great for the kids to be part of something where other people came to see them and their work.

Potter Street Camp

Last night, I laid awake, asking God why He chose now to break my heart for Philadelphia. After 4 years of living here, He waited until the last month. And the very next morning, I wake up to a notification in my email, telling me that two rather large donations for my trip to Cote d'Ivoire have finally appeared in my account! It was as if God was taking away that little bit of doubt in my heart, saying "no, I still want you to go to Africa in October. It figures – sometimes His timing makes absolutely no sense. However, I would like to tell you in short exactly what it is about this great city of Philadelphia that has a handle on my heart.

In July, amongst job searching and support raising, I stumbled upon a camp that an organization called the Simple Way was running in Kensington. As it turned out, Potter Street camp was looking for someone to lead an art segment with the kids. I came in assuming I would only be there 3 days of the week, and instead, I spent all of the free time that I had in Kensington. This was partially because of the completely awesome people who were volunteering with me, but mostly because of the kids that we blew bubbles with, taught scripture to, sang “Baby shark” with day after day, and even sat in time out with for countless hours. And like most situations in which you are serving others, it is you – the one serving – who learns much. Those kids taught me joy, patience, humility, courage, strength, peace, and most of all, love. Jesus said that when you give a child a glass of water, you are giving it to him, and it was that scripture that got me through the day sometimes. They had a hope within them that many of their parents seemed to have lost through the years. I will never forget the day that Tyreek saw the box of honey buns on our counter, and handed all of them out on the street without even keeping one for himself. How something as simple as a single dance move could make a 10-year-old girl named Precious laugh for hours, or how much the littlest ones loved to be swung back and forth by their hands and feet. How a little 3-year-old girl named Yameli came to the camp on the first day, shy and quiet, without knowing any English, and how she ran up to me with arms wide on the last day and left singing “baby shark do do– do do –do do “. The day I stood by her side while she took a very long time in the port-a-potty, the day she painted my whole arm red, and her laugh that will turn any frown into a smile. A boy named Louie who we had to send home from camp after many occasions of punching innocents and grabbing inappropriate areas. Yet the same boy once helped me carry a water cooler back to the storage room after camp was over, and then held my hand as he walked peacefully back home. A little girl named Isyss who spent an hour writing me a letter instead of playing with the other kids on the last water day of camp. And just two nights ago, when I played hot potato with a very expressive little girl named Tymeka. When the “potato” finally cooled down enough to eat, she told me that it was strawberry flavored.

I could go on and on with these stories, and I thank God for every single one of them. I thought this summer would be solely about preparing for Africa, but God had other plans. He knew that I needed this experience, that it would teach me SO MUCH that I will take with me to Cote d’Ivoire. He never ceases to amaze me. That is for sure. How deep His love is for me, how vast beyond all measure, as it is for all of His children. I praise Him with every breath, for how He has taught me to love like Him… but mostly how He is still teaching me. I still fall short every day, but that is ok because He loves me just the same.

New Journey Corps video!

This is really cool, the team made this video in Bouaké on their last trip over to Côte d'Ivoire:
CHECK IT OUT

You're probably wondering..

Why do I want to go to Côte d'Ivoire, Africa next year?

In short: To love the people of Côte d'Ivoire. Beyond the political turmoil, trafficking, trauma, food shortage, poverty, or any other issues they may face. I would love more than anything to be able to help even one of them to seek freedom from whatever oppression or deficit they face, but I believe that to simply love them will fulfill God's purpose for me there.

"For right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

The full story: I am accepted to World Venture’s cross-cultural ministry, Journey Corps, in Côte d'Ivoire, Africa! The program is a designed for young people, aged 20 - 32, who have a college degree, to use their talents, gifts, and hands to serve the people of Africa. Throughout my last semester of college, I have been praying for God to direct my next steps in life, and I have felt at peace with taking a gap year before grad school. When I went to Urbana over winter break, I sought out organizations to speak to with which I could serve for a year, using my passions for art and for children. I am studying art therapy, and I have seen the peace children can gain from focusing their energy into a positive activity such as painting or forming something out of clay. In learning about children in war-torn areas of Africa, both in the past year and at Urbana, my heart has been broken for them. My eyes have been opened to how art can be a dynamic tool for connecting to these children and a great aid in the healing process, as most of them have seen traumatizing things.

I am excited about Journey Core because it will be a hands-on program, in which we will be working alongside missionaries already living in Côte d'Ivoire and in the surrounding area. I will have a chance to live in a culture, learning their customs, language, and needs, all the while learning how to be a better example of Jesus. Part of the program is focused on studying scripture, to equip young people to enter the mission field. It is designed to be a one or two year immersion in which journeyers will seek God’s calling in their lives, whether it is a lifetime in the mission field or a return to their own culture to serve the people of the US. I am not sure which God is calling me towards, but I am excited to use this opportunity to seek His will.




What will it take to go?

I will need to raise $1,500 for every month that I am there. For one year, that’s $18,000 by August 1, 2010 so that I can begin the program in September. This is a large sum of money, and to be honest, I have no idea how I can raise that much. However, I know that if it is God’s will for me to be part of this program, then He will provide. In fact, it is already taken care of. I know that He will use this process to build my faith immensely. I also know that if Journey Core is not in His plan for my life, then He will shut doors on this opportunity and open others elsewhere. I know this because I have been praying this prayer since January. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God has given me a peace of mind and knowledge that He loves me and has a purpose for my life, so all of this will come together in His timing. His ways are so much higher than mine, as Isaiah 55 reminds me, and His thoughts far beyond my own.


Picture 1 taken from here
And picture 2 from here

What is Journey Corps?

"Journey Corps is a one-to two-year, cross-cultural service ministry designed for young people to use their gifts and passions as they live in community, learn missions, and labor together.

We offer hands-on service experience.
Community based ministry.
Over 65 years of missions experience.
Mentors for the journey."

Where is it???

"The Journey Corps Training Center is located near Bouaké, Côte d’Ivoire. It’s a 32-acre campus situated just outside the second largest city in Cote d’Ivoire."



"Côte d'Ivoire was one of the most prosperous nations in sub-Saharan Africa until the December 1999 coup d'état. Due to continuing political and military turmoil and the destruction of schools, most SIM missionaries were evacuated out of the country in November 2004 and have not been able to return. Recent presidential elections will hopefully result in long-term stability." (http://www.sim.org/index.php/country/ci)

"The small and diverse country of Côte d’Ivoire lies on the underside of the West African “bulge.” Often referred to as “Ivory Coast,” the nation is about the size of New Mexico. The southern part of the country has experienced much prosperity compared to other African nations, while the north is underdeveloped and many people there live in poverty. The coastline of Côte d’Ivoire varies from small rocky cliffs in the west to flat, sandy beaches in the east. Moving north, the country’s tropical forest changes to savanna. The climate is temperate to hot, with ample rainfall.

Of the nearly 17.6 million people living in Côte d’Ivoire, more than 30 percent are of foreign origin. Côte d’Ivoire is home to at least 66 language dialects. The expanding Sahara, tribal conflicts, political upheavals, and the sway of Islam along with the spread of AIDS have left the peoples of West Africa economically and spiritually impoverished. The church needs workers trained to present the gospel in ways that spark these peoples’ interest and feeds their physical and spiritual hungers

Where I'll be living: Journey Corps Training Center in Bouaké:
For more than 30 years the campus was a state of the art boarding school known as International Christian Academy (ICA).
Tribal conflict from 2000 and 2003 made it impossible to continue boarding students at ICA, and it sat partially vacant for years while being leased and maintained by the French military. The 32-acre campus is enclosed in a security wall and is located a mere eight kilometers (almost five miles) from town."

(taken from http://myjourneycorps.com)