Am I hearing correctly?

As I sat in the marquis, people started standing up, pacing, throwing chairs down on the ground, cursing and yelling that it was finished. Their cheers and horns, once played with enthusiasm, were lost. Cote d’Ivoire lost to Zambia in a shoot off, player against goalie, standing 11 meters apart. This was after two 15 minute overtimes. The crowd walked away, somber and dejected.

I would have loved to see us win. Not for the sake of saying that CI won the Africa cup, but because this country is pulling itself out of 10 years of frustrating war, and any encouragement would help. Reconciliation isn’t an easy task. Sure, it was just a game - contrary to the public’s reactions. But why couldn’t they win? Maybe there’s larger lessons to learn here.

I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately. I keep hoping for at least a small whisper, like Elijah. A burning bush or a dew covered fleece would certainly be welcome, but we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes He tells us to build an ark or travel to a distant land, and then you hear nothing until… well, until we finish the ark or until it’s time for more direction.

I’m not very good at waiting. When I was a kid, I wiped my spaghetti sauce covered hands all over my clothes because I didn’t want to wait for a napkin. I constantly had skinned knees because I couldn’t walk to my destination - I was in a hurry to get there.

Reconciliation is achieved when both sides can humble themselves enough to listen to one another. During the war in RCI, the divide was set between the north and the south. If you had a Senoufo name, such as Coulibaly or Soro, you were immediately associated with the North. This meant, you were denied certain rights of Ivorian citizenship if you lived in the South. Many Northerners had to flee to the north to avoid being persecuted. This country has to overcome their divides and rebuild together.

Hearing God also takes humility. A quieting of oneself, and submission to listening for that small whisper. I find myself saying, “Listen to me, God! Please, have mercy and answer me!” (Ps 27:7). I love the next verse of this psalm: “My heart says of you, “Seek His face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.”

“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Ps 27:14

“If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:1

Ivorians have been saying that this cup was just a practice run for next time, when we will win. A period of silence often means that we are in the shadow of God’s hand, and guidance is to come. Amidst fears and frustrations, I can only seek His face. Now that I’ve exhausted all of my own capabilities, that’s all I can do. Like Gideon, I am often afraid that God has abandoned me. But almost immediately, God answers, “Am I not sending you?” (Judges 6:14). The second I start asking Him why he has taken blessings away, he points to the ones He’s since given me. And they are numerous - just different than before.

Last week, I walked from church to the market center with Mai, talking the whole way, sharing fears and worries about the future. I met her around this time last year, and my French was not great. I could barely describe my hobbies, let alone fears and worries. But today, our friendship goes deeper than I ever thought possible between language and cultural barriers. She bought me a grilled plantain and water before we parted ways. Friendships like hers remind me of what I'm doing here. They give me courage in the midst of it all.

We visited Dorcas House, a business for women who have left the Muslim faith to become Christians. As I left, I called into the workshop, "Annibara!" (Good work! in their language, Dioula). They all replied, "N'se", and one woman said "E-bey soh moh goh foh". The reply slipped out of my mouth, naturally without any hesitation, "O-bey nah meh". She smiled. There's a purpose in it all.

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you,” is the small whisper I hear every day.

In 2 days, my mom comes to visit for 2 weeks! In March, I will get on a plane headed for the US for the first time in 16 months, and spend 5 weeks seeing friends and family. I will be able to share about how much God has blessed me in Cote d'Ivoire. Then, in April, I will come back to this country that has siezed my heart. For how long? That's yet to be determined. Amidst the craziness that I'm about to jump into, I am sure that He is guiding me. No matter if I go to school again or not, no matter what I study, whether I live in Philadelphia or Cote d'Ivoire, it's ultimately His plan that will come to pass. Pray with me as I seek His face for what's next. Pray for this country as they rebuild and seek reconciliation.

“If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him.” (MUFHH Feb 7)

My sister, Kolo, started learning to tailor clothes.

Dorcas house

Abidjan Market

Nema got married! She was our cultural guide when I first arrived in RCI.

Our Benkadi team

What would life be without relationships?

Here are some pictures from the past few weeks! We've been doing some traveling around. I spent a week in Korhogo staying with Tricia's host family, and now we're in Abidjan. We made a pit stop at the beach, on our way to drop off Alyssa. Free, beautiful beach? Yes, please! I've been learning to be content with the present. Sometimes answers don't come as quickly as you would like, and He asks us to remain in Him. I've been so thankful for my relationships, because they are what remind me of why I'm here. In every one of these photos is someone who matters a lot to me: my teammates, Lea, and the girls at Centre Providence. Enjoy!

Jess and Steve

They were pulling in a fishing net.

Alyssa, Devin and I Lea and I, at the rock quarry

Jess, Alyssa, Lea, and I, trying out our homemade foot scrub.

When there is no one to cut hair..

Pictures from our January party at Centre Providence. I love these girls.

My painting class! This is Awa

Solange

Laeticia

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (Is 26:3)

"Faithful is He who is calling you (to himself) and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it (that is, fullfill His call by hallowing and keeping you." (1 Thes. 5:24)

"God is not a man, that He should lie or change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fullfill? (Num 23:19)

Holiday anecdotes

My friend Tenan has been teaching Steve and Jessica (our newest JC recruits) French. One day, upon seeing all of our electronics, he said, “All Americans have computers and cameras. I think they give them away for free in the US.” We have the same Senoufo name: Yéo Tenena and Yéo Ténédja. So he introduces me as his sister, even to his own family. He says “this is Ténédja, she is Ivorian.”

I tried on my new outfit for Sarah one day, and she lit up, exclaiming “Steph-an-ie! Tu es belle!” (You are beautiful!). Wouldn’t you know, the next thing she said was, “je prie pour toi, que Dieu te donne un BON mari,” (I pray for you, that God gives you a good husband). This is one of the love languages of an Ivorian - to pray for you to get married and have kids. She herself got married at 30, pretty late for this culture. I asked her if she was afraid - which opened up the flood gates. She told me all about her first love, the man she thought she’d marry. But after years of waiting, his family told her that she couldn’t marry their son, since she was from a different ethnic group. She ended up marrying Benjamin, an old friend. Sarah calls me “ma petite soeur,” (her little sister), with which I usually respond, “ma grande soeur”.

On Christmas eve morning, I went to pick up things at the tailor. As always, he wasn’t finished, so Jessica and I went with his son to find jerseys. I thought it would be a short walk, but it was not. Through broken, trash covered and busy streets we walked, and walked. I laughed at my agitation. It was so like life - I am ready to get somewhere, to do something, and then God takes me on a long path that I never wanted or planned for. When I asked the tailor‘s son why we were going so far, he said, “what? You’re not used to walking?” We weren’t even sure we’d communicated well what we wanted. What if we didn’t find a jersey, and the walk was for nothing? Yet, we have not conceived what God has for us. The walk is not in vain if He’s leading.

For Christmas eve night, I went to church.. From 11 pm to 6 am. Christians celebrate the day by dancing all night long, which they call a veille (translates to vigil). There’s also a sermon and skits. Around 3 am, my friend Julie literally took me by the hand and showed me dance steps to the balafone (a traditional Senoufo instrument). After one of the songs, several of the youth came over and high-fived me, saying that I was Ivorian and would stay in Cote d’Ivoire. Julie said we’d stay and dance until the new year. Sweaty and exhausted, I went to sit down around 4:30 am. It’s like a workout!

After Christmas, we went to stay at the NZ river lodge for a few days, west of Bouake. It’s a beautiful tree-house like structure that was started 3 months before the war broke out in 2002, and rests unfinished. Our guide was a man who had stayed with the lodge to guard it when everyone else fled, because otherwise, he knew the rebels would have stolen building materials. He was a funny guy. He’d say things like, “I’m not a comedian, I’ve never been, but people think I’m funny because of my teeth,” or “I’m an ecologist but I smoke.” One night, while waiting for a shower, he walked up and put 2 jars on the table: one with dead snakes, and another with a tarantula. He was doing his best to entertain us. The stars there were beautiful - the kind that remind you of how big God is.

My friend Mai is a very quiet girl when you first meet her, but in actuality, she is not at all quiet. At the wedding of Timothee and Lea, during the “I dos” and the 5 minute long rolling up of the veil, she yelled and screamed, mostly out of excitement. You see, Ivorian weddings are not as quiet as ours. They’re more like watching a concert in the US. If you don’t get a little boisterous, you must not be that excited. I did a lot of jumping up and down and dancing myself. Timothee and Lea are like family to me, and I have been waiting for this day for months. I love them both so much! Seriously, what an incredibly joyful day. To see all my friends with the jeunesse (20 somethings) get together to plan, put together, and then celebrate this day was amazing. I’m afraid I’ll get asked to leave weddings in the US, assuming that it’s ok to jump up and down and cheer when the couple says “I do”.

On New Years Eve, we danced to some classic songs around the fire, one of them being YMCA. The next day, the Ivorian kids who were staying with us (Esther, Caleb, Ezekiel, and Deborah) started singing “Moi, J’aime chier,” to the same tune. This means, “Me, I like to poop.” Apparently, that’s what “Y M C A” sounds like in French. (PS: chier is probably not the verb you'd use for this action in France, but this is Cote d'Ivoire).

Yesterday, I greeted some of my host dad’s friends. One of the men gave me a series of blessings, in Senoufo. I responded to all with “Amina,” (Amen) having no idea what he had said. Then the guy next to him said, “Really? He blessed you with a lot of kids.” I said I’d rather wait until I was married, but I’m pretty sure he blessed me for that too.

My host parents came to visit me at ICA. At one point, Bakary, my host dad, said “Tu n’as pas oublie que tu es un Yéo?” (You haven’t forgotten that you’re a Yéo?) “Jamais!” (Never), I told him. My family name is Yéo Ténédja. Though I’m not living with them right now, he wanted to tell me that I am still family.

Christmas, camping, and a wedding!

On December 31st, we celebrated the long awaited wedding of Timothee Ouattara and Lea Sekongo! I wish I could describe the joy that I felt to see this day finally arrive! I have known them both since I arrived in Cote d'Ivoire; Timothee has been one of my closest Ivorian brothers. I've worked in sunday school with both of them, and traveled to Ghana with Tim. He's been my translator and cultural guide, and we've talked for months about the day they would get married. As I gave Lea and Timothee hugs in the greeting line, and congratulated them, Tim yelled, "en fin!" (finally). Here's our Benkadi group picture.

As the balafones started up, I joined the rest of the youth in a circle, doing what I like to call the Senoufo shuffle. I snapped this picture on my way past the lovely couple.

Alyssa, Mai, and I. Mai is Timothee's sister and my good friend.
We're all wearing the wedding pagne (for close family and friends who are practically family)

This is right when Lea said "I do", or in this culture, "oui!"

The grueling 5 minutes of the traditional "roll up the veil" routine. Meanwhile, I was standing next to Mai and the other youth from church, yelling and screaming for him to kiss her already.

The kiss!

Lyss and I

Tenan and I! Il etait trop sappe!

Poor Tim and Lea were exhausted at this point.. which is why they look unhappy. It was the end of a fantastic day.

Between Christmas and new years, we took a trip to the NZ river lodge, west of Bouake. Spending a few days in the bush, in the middle of nature, cooking over the fire was such a refreshing time. Here's some of our team posing in the stream.

Papa Rod cooking us up some breakfast.

Lyss, Tricia, Esther and Caleb

Trish and I cutting papaya

Songimay and I, at the kids' Christmas celebration

Steve as Papa Noel.

A pre-christmas Benkadi (Journey Corps) group shot.. we're ridiculous.

Joyeux Noel and Bonne Annee!

A Dialogue with Jesus

Listen to me.

Ok, I’m here.

No you’re not. Stop trying to do that yourself. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Mt. 11:30)

What? Making 5 batches of cookies? Planning meals? Planning my life?

Yeah, my ways and my thoughts are much higher than yours (Isaiah 55:11)

Yeah.. I would feel more comfortable if I knew I’d be able to pay off my loans soon.

I knit you together in your mother’s womb. I know when you sit and stand, I know your thoughts (Ps 139)

I know, I love that psalm, but the worries are still there.

Before you even called to me, I answered you (Is 65:24). If I tell you to go, I’m going to provide. (Heb 11:8)

What about my own intelligent plan? It was a good one, everyone thought so.

Why are you more attached to your own plans than to me? Commit your way to me. (Ps 37:5)

Why don’t you just tell me that I’ll be married in a few years and people will think I’m successful?

Your competence is in me (2 Cor. 3:5), you need to trust that I have power to do what I have promised. (Rom 4:21)

But what about my comfort? Are you going to ask me before you wreck my plans?

Oh you have such little faith. Look at the birds in the air and the lilies in the field. Look at how I clothe and feed them! Are you not more valuable to me than they are? (Matt 6:25-34

Ok, I understand.. But I am really tired. I think I’m overworking myself.

My presence will go with you and I will give you rest (Exodus 33: 14)

Not even a nap? I could really use a nap.

Strengthen your feeble hands, steady your knees that give way (Is 35:3), Do not fear, for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. (Is 41:10)

I give up! What do you want me to do so badly that I can’t even take a nap?

I work in you every day to will and to act according to my good purpose. (Phil 2:13).

What purpose?

To spend yourself on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed. (Is. 58:10)

Well goodness, that’s really concrete. And did I mention.. Huge!

So am I. I fixed limits for the seas, I tell the dawn its place, I disperse the lightning and father the rain. (Job 38).

Hello! I am so tiny compared to that

But I am not. If you have faith, you can say to this mountain to throw itself into the sea, and it’ll happen. (Mt. 21:21)

Do you really think I’m ready for that?

Your treasure is me, and you are a clay jar, moldable and breakable, to show that the power you hold is not your own, but mine. (2 Cor. 4:7) I created you for dependence on me.

You know how much I like my independence..

I saved you with my grace for a purpose because I created you and I created works in advance for you to do. (Eph. 2:8-10). You are not your own, you were bought with a price. (1 Cor. 6:19)

…

I love you, but sometimes, you are really selfish.

I want to follow you with my entire heart, without deviation. Give me an overflowing joy, a realization of what you’ve done for me, and make me someone who serves you willingly, without excuse.. (Ps 51: 10,12)

We have a lot of work to do.

That’s what I was afraid of..

Sarah

She lives in the campement down the road from Ecole Baptiste, our program’s homebase, and cooks us yummy meals. One of my responsibilities has been to oversee the kitchen and make sure we have food to eat. Sarah is the chief of the kitchen, and it has been a joy to work alongside her. She is a comedian, a mother, a wife, a head chef, an actress, and a singer.

She is married to a man named Benjamin, and has become the mother of his children. They are not hers, however. Her best friend was his first wife, but she passed away. When Sarah saw that he was struggling with his 7 kids, she offered to become their mother and his wife.

Before that, she was part of a traveling singing and theater group in Mali. She has taught me a few of the songs, in Bombara, that she learned during those days. Often, while cooking together or organizing tupperware, she’ll teach me, line by line, songs that talk about God’s love and joy. She makes me laugh so hard - everyone calls her a comedian. Most of the time, it starts when she makes fun of me and I do the same to her. Before you know it, we’re both laughing so hard. The other day, I decided to make coconut milk. That in itself was bizarre to her - but she considered it to be one of my strange American things. Then she watched as I put my left pointer finger in to check the consistency, and she said “Stephanie, si quelqu’un te voit quand tu fais ca, il ne va pas le manger,” (if someone sees you do that, he won’t eat it.)

On Friday, she described to me how you eat baked potatoes, in Dioula, a language she’s been trying to teach me, at my request. I stared at her. She hadn’t taught me those terms yet. She has taught me simple things, like “E bay soh moh goh foh”, which means “greet your family”, a common thing people say when telling someone goodbye. There is one sound that I simply cannot pronounce. It sounds like “Gba”, but there is a very forceful tone behind the “B” which I have yet to master. Every time I try, she’s practically rolling on the floor laughing.

I worked alongside her one morning, making peanut butter cookies, as she made peanut sauce. She explained to me in detail how to make the sauce, and then showed me how to properly mix and roll the cookies. When I told her that I thought I’d done a good job, she said that I had not. It was her job to teach me so I could make them properly for my future husband, who she is eager to find for me.

In August, when I was baptized in the stream behind Ecole Baptiste, it was her who led us in songs. I remember her singing, “I have decided to follow Jesus,” (J’ai decide a suivre Jesus). Sarah is an amazing person. Our friendship is something you don’t find every day. Even cross-culturally, I can say that she is a true “soul” sister, someone I was meant to know and to love. Maybe it’s because of our adventurous spirits or our mutual love for laughter. I respect her for the decisions she’s made in her life and the whole hearted spirit that she’s embraced them with. And every time I see her, I thank Jesus for putting her in my life.

These pictures describe our relationship well

The Baptism

Sarah, on the right, leading us in song