Am I hearing correctly?

As I sat in the marquis, people started standing up, pacing, throwing chairs down on the ground, cursing and yelling that it was finished. Their cheers and horns, once played with enthusiasm, were lost. Cote d’Ivoire lost to Zambia in a shoot off, player against goalie, standing 11 meters apart. This was after two 15 minute overtimes. The crowd walked away, somber and dejected.

I would have loved to see us win. Not for the sake of saying that CI won the Africa cup, but because this country is pulling itself out of 10 years of frustrating war, and any encouragement would help. Reconciliation isn’t an easy task. Sure, it was just a game - contrary to the public’s reactions. But why couldn’t they win? Maybe there’s larger lessons to learn here.

I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately. I keep hoping for at least a small whisper, like Elijah. A burning bush or a dew covered fleece would certainly be welcome, but we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes He tells us to build an ark or travel to a distant land, and then you hear nothing until… well, until we finish the ark or until it’s time for more direction.

I’m not very good at waiting. When I was a kid, I wiped my spaghetti sauce covered hands all over my clothes because I didn’t want to wait for a napkin. I constantly had skinned knees because I couldn’t walk to my destination - I was in a hurry to get there.

Reconciliation is achieved when both sides can humble themselves enough to listen to one another. During the war in RCI, the divide was set between the north and the south. If you had a Senoufo name, such as Coulibaly or Soro, you were immediately associated with the North. This meant, you were denied certain rights of Ivorian citizenship if you lived in the South. Many Northerners had to flee to the north to avoid being persecuted. This country has to overcome their divides and rebuild together.

Hearing God also takes humility. A quieting of oneself, and submission to listening for that small whisper. I find myself saying, “Listen to me, God! Please, have mercy and answer me!” (Ps 27:7). I love the next verse of this psalm: “My heart says of you, “Seek His face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.”

“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Ps 27:14

“If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:1

Ivorians have been saying that this cup was just a practice run for next time, when we will win. A period of silence often means that we are in the shadow of God’s hand, and guidance is to come. Amidst fears and frustrations, I can only seek His face. Now that I’ve exhausted all of my own capabilities, that’s all I can do. Like Gideon, I am often afraid that God has abandoned me. But almost immediately, God answers, “Am I not sending you?” (Judges 6:14). The second I start asking Him why he has taken blessings away, he points to the ones He’s since given me. And they are numerous - just different than before.

Last week, I walked from church to the market center with Mai, talking the whole way, sharing fears and worries about the future. I met her around this time last year, and my French was not great. I could barely describe my hobbies, let alone fears and worries. But today, our friendship goes deeper than I ever thought possible between language and cultural barriers. She bought me a grilled plantain and water before we parted ways. Friendships like hers remind me of what I'm doing here. They give me courage in the midst of it all.

We visited Dorcas House, a business for women who have left the Muslim faith to become Christians. As I left, I called into the workshop, "Annibara!" (Good work! in their language, Dioula). They all replied, "N'se", and one woman said "E-bey soh moh goh foh". The reply slipped out of my mouth, naturally without any hesitation, "O-bey nah meh". She smiled. There's a purpose in it all.

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you,” is the small whisper I hear every day.

In 2 days, my mom comes to visit for 2 weeks! In March, I will get on a plane headed for the US for the first time in 16 months, and spend 5 weeks seeing friends and family. I will be able to share about how much God has blessed me in Cote d'Ivoire. Then, in April, I will come back to this country that has siezed my heart. For how long? That's yet to be determined. Amidst the craziness that I'm about to jump into, I am sure that He is guiding me. No matter if I go to school again or not, no matter what I study, whether I live in Philadelphia or Cote d'Ivoire, it's ultimately His plan that will come to pass. Pray with me as I seek His face for what's next. Pray for this country as they rebuild and seek reconciliation.

“If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him.” (MUFHH Feb 7)

My sister, Kolo, started learning to tailor clothes.

Dorcas house

Abidjan Market

Nema got married! She was our cultural guide when I first arrived in RCI.

Our Benkadi team