What if an Ivorian had created the iPhone?

Your Google maps app would tell you “Go over there, beside the big mosque, and turn left.  It’s close to the trash pile.”  When you ask how long the trip will take, it will say, “well, it’s a little far, but not too far.  Maybe 3 kilometers.”   You later find out that it was 6 kilometers away, after consulting 3 shop owners, and the trash pile is no longer there. 

Your few emails would say “Hey!  I just want to say hello.  Nothing serious.  Just a hello.  Have a good day.” 

Most Instagram photos would be of your own face.  Your expression would always be very serious.  You wouldn’t take pictures of your food, because rice and sauce isn’t very exciting to look at.  White people, weddings, and births may also make it onto your facebook.

Your calendar events would be “sometime this week, or month”, and your scheduled events would say, “start at 9 am, but you don’t have to get there until 10:30.”  An app to take into consideration the various environmental factors may be helpful – such as whether or not it’s raining and whether or not there was an all-night funeral the day before.  For example, if there is rain, expect the event to start when it stops.  Not having a weather channel, however, may make this difficult.  Weather.com would most likely tell you, “I’m not God, I don’t know whether or not it will rain today.”

Words with Friends would be complicated, with 66 local languages and the high percentage of illiteracy.  Draw Something would work better, but telling the difference between mangoes, oranges, lemons, papayas, avocados, tomatoes, bananas, cabbage, ignames, and potatoes may be difficult.

Automatic banking would look kind of like: 

April 10, 2012:  Meat: $1.00

Tomatoes $0.30

                        Cucumbers $0.50

                        Onion $0.20

                        Peppers $0.10

                        Maggi (chicken bouillon) $0.10

                        Oil $0.20

             Total: $2.40

Apps:

The serious face.  It makes your face very stoic, for ideal picture taking.

The pile ninja (for women only).  You pound ignames with a mortar and pestle, as fast as you can.  The one to pile the fastest gets a husband.

The all-night veille aid.  It shocks you, to keep you awake during the wedding celebrations and funerals that last intil 8 am.

If you have any additional ideas, feel free to share them in a comment!

I apologize if none of this makes sense to you.  Us crazy kids in Journey Corps West Africa wrote it up.  If you don’t get it, visit www.myjourneycorps.com!